He told three coaches to hit the road

Dear Friend,

You have Palmer this week. A few weeks ago, I got to go to the wedding of a client, rehearsal dinner and everything, that I started working with over 5 years ago.

I was excited because weddings are fun and usually involve an adventure. But this one hit me differently. It felt like this little moment that captured so much of what I love about my work.

Let's call him Jack.

I first met Jack when he was transitioning away from college athletics. I didn't know this until later, but before I met him, his dad had tried out three other coaches. Jack has a giant heart, but he is also a bit of a fireball who has no issue saying what he feels. He had no problem telling the other coaches to hit the road, and luckily, his dad was determined to find someone who could reach him.

Looking back, what I prioritize most now was in no short supply then: helping each person feel unconditionally supported as they chase after their best self.

Not supported as in, "I think everything you do is perfect." Supported as in, "I am in your corner. I believe in you. I'm here to walk with you, push you when you need it, encourage you when it's hard, and help you become who you know you can be."

For whatever reason, Jack didn't tell me to hit the road.

And now, 5+ years later, I have gotten to walk with him through so many fascinating, challenging, and encouraging seasons of life: changing majors, navigating internal and relational challenges, starting a sports training business, switching career paths, preparing to be a husband, and now recently, getting to watch him get married.

Our work gave him a place to explore what he was capable of in an environment that carried no bias, no parent pride, no hidden agenda, and no expectation that he needed to become who I or anyone else thought he should be. That doesn't mean Jack hasn't given me some of his fire before. He CERTAINLY has. But we built a relationship that could carry the weight of harder conversations, where being pushed did not break the relationship, but helped strengthen it.

And that is one of the pieces of this work that I believe in most deeply. I think one of the deepest desires we have as humans is to have someone in our corner, someone who supports us in becoming our best, but also supports us when we are at our worst. It's not talked about as much as I wish it was because that support can completely change our lives trajectory.

As parents, you are absolutely essential to your kids' lives. The love, stability, wisdom, and support you give them matter more than I could ever put into words.

And still, as kids move into their teenage and young adult years, the way they receive support changes. Just as they are beginning to define who they are going to be, they often start pulling back from the people who know them best…their parents. That does not mean parents no longer have influence. Far from it. It just means the influence has to evolve.

Some of the families I work with are as steady, loving, and invested as I could ever hope for, and I've realized those homes often make coaching even more meaningful, not less, because there is already such a strong foundation to build from.

When kids have another trusted, trained, and highly invested person in their corner, it can be so impactful. Someone without the mom or dad label that they can talk to differently; who can push them without it feeling like a parent lecture, and help them explore who they are, what they want, and how they want to do life.

For me, this work is an absolute dream come true. The approach we take is something I desperately wish I had as a teenager and young adult, and something I honestly hope every kid is able to have in some form. Not because every kid is struggling or broken, but because we all have so much potential within us.

Every family is on their own journey, but if you've even slightly considered getting your kid additional support, I really do encourage you to explore it. Whether it's with us at Skudneski Coaching and Therapy or one of the many other options out there, there's not much I'd recommend more highly when it comes to helping your kid have the right support.

I was already excited to share Jack's story with you, and this also felt like a good chance to share that our coach Andrew is opening up either 2 weekly spots or 4 bi-weekly spots. I don't currently have more after-school spots right now, but I do have a few daytime windows available for teenagers or young adults who can meet during day/early afternoon.

If that feels like it could be worth exploring please feel free to reach out through this link: Discovery Call Form

Or get right to it and schedule a discovery call here: Discovery Call Scheduling

Have a great day and talk soon!

Palmer :)