Palmer here! 👋
Family routines shape more than just our schedules. They quietly define our connection, communication, and calm.
As we all know, the school year is here, and summer is coming to an end. I don’t know about you, but summer feels like the wild west for kids. One week they’re at a sports camp, up at 7 a.m. and active all day. The next week, they’re not up until noon after a very important all-night gaming session. Family meals sometimes look like big, wonderful barbecues, and other days it’s a free-for-all where you discover what your kid ate for dinner based on the plate half-tucked under their bed the next morning.
Now we’re back to school, and most families are on a semi-normal routine where weeks look about the same.
My wife and I read the book “Habits of the Household” this summer and it sparked two big questions in my mind:
- What are your default family norms?
- What are your ideal family norms?
Let’s pretend summer didn’t count and just focus on the school year. Like it or not, our lives are shaped by habits and routines. So the real question is: What habits and routines do we want shaping our family? Will this year be defined by chaotic mornings, yelling matches over screen time, and dinners where everyone eats at separate times?
Or will it be defined by a few keystone routines where expectations are set and not contested daily, and family dinners happen at least every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday?
As you transition back into the school season, whether you’re two weeks in or still a few days away, I encourage you to decide what will define your family this year. You may have a lot of great things going, but I think we can always be a bit more intentional. As the parent, create a few keystone habits that bring structure and stability. And just so you know, if your kid says the routines suck and they’d rather eat alone while scrolling their phone, you’re probably on the right track. They may not thank you now, but give it 10 years and they’ll see the difference it made.
For my wife and me, that looks like dinners together every night (even if it’s just 10 minutes), one walk each day (sometimes just a quick loop), prayer and 60 seconds of quiet before meals, and story time with James every night. It’s not much, but it feels realistic. And honestly, we all know that adding even just one thing is harder than we expect.
I’d argue nothing shapes your kids more than the home they grow up in. So, within the realm of what’s reasonable, take five minutes to decide on just one routine you want to define your family this school year. It doesn’t have to be big. Maybe it’s dinner twice a week, a short walk, or a quick check-in before bed. Start small, stick with it, and let it become an anchor in your home.
Excited for this school year!
Kerry and Palmer
Also enjoy one of many mandatory “First Day of School Photos my mom took”…don’t tell her but that was a tradition I kept alive through my first day of grad school
