You Won the Lottery: Finding Your Definite Purpose

Dear Friend,

You were part of a 1 in 400 quadrillion lottery…and you won. (don't fact-check me 😅)

Happy Sunday! You got Palmer today!

Those are the odds you were going up against in order to be who you are... In other words, you are one of one.

Whether or not those numbers mean anything to you, I know that you know there are things you do in life that make you feel more aligned with who you are than others. However, I've come to realize how easy it is for all of us to leave parts of our fullest life undefined or unexplored.

There is a concept I first heard 4 years ago that has yet to be overtaken when it comes to defining and living out meaning and purpose in life. It's called "Definite Purpose" and was coined by the author Napoleon Hill.

In essence, it is the clearest picture you can build of what a deeply meaningful, full life looks like specifically for you.

But luckily for you, you've likely already done a great deal of the heavy lifting in figuring this out. You do not need to start from scratch. Most of us have already developed a decent vision for what our life's purpose is, or at least could be. It likely has been informed by some combo of factors such as family, culture, faith, traditions, mentors, experience, values, etc.

The place I think so many of us can unintentionally miss the mark is assuming those factors fill in all the answers to what our purpose is and how we live it out.

Those factors have helped direct us toward the kind of people we want to be, jobs we have, people we marry, risks we take, ways we serve, and so on. I feel like they can get us right up to the edge, but then most of us need to pick up the baton from there and finish the job of defining what our individual, one-of-one purpose is: our Definite Purpose.

How will you love? How will you thrive? How will you be challenged? What does a close family look like? What does a meaningful career look like? What does a morning routine that grounds you look like? What does it look like to do chores with a grateful heart? What does it look like to have hard conversations with your loved ones because you aren't done fighting for your relationship? What does your ideal social life look like? What does your ideal spiritual practice look like? What does your ideal mental and physical health look like?

Because ultimately, that's what we're trying to build: the clearest picture we can of what a deeply meaningful, full life looks like specifically for us.

This scene is one example from my Definite Purpose that I have mapped out and try to bring myself back to daily (I genuinely spend time picturing this before I try and do it):

I finish my work for the day. As I walk into the room my family is in, I am beaming with joy to see them, not thinking about work, just present and eager to give them both a hug, kiss, and tell them that I love them.

That's the scene. And the truth is, some days I forget to do this and still show up totally great. But on the days I sit with that image, even for just 30-60 seconds before I walk in the room, I land so much closer to being true to that section of my Definite Purpose...Then, there are also the days I forget and show up a little more distracted or fiery than I would like.

So, if you were my client, here's how I would lay this all out:

We would examine the 5-10 biggest pillars of your life that capture the majority of your Definite Purpose.
Write out or take time to imagine what a moment would look like where you are aligned with your Definite Purpose.
Then sit with that image for a minimum of 15 seconds, imagining it was your reality.
Then envision it again right before that moment may happen, like me seeing my family, and let the gravitational pull of your Definite Purpose draw you ever so subtly closer to that best version of your life. (It's not about manifestation in any way. It's simply about intentionally reminding your brain what you desire for yourself.)

If this kind of self-reflection feels worthwhile, you might also enjoy I Lost My Mind - Here's How I Got It Back, where I get into what it looks like when that alignment slips and how to find your way back to it.

For my next email, I'll share what I think is the essential part two of this conversation that I have with clients who want to live more aligned with their purpose in life.

Have a lovely Sunday!

Kerry and Palmer :)