It’s Palmer today! ☺️
Before the new year, my family went to Chicago for a little trip to look at the lights on Michigan Avenue and eat enough deep-dish pizza from Lou Malnati’s to keep us full through winter.
But seconds after our flight landed on the way there, someone yelled, “DO SOMETHING!!!”
I had no idea they were talking to me. Then I turned in my seat and realized something was very wrong.
The young lady across the aisle was shaking violently in her chair, and all I could see were the whites of her eyes. Without thinking, I jumped up. My brain tried to remember what my wilderness first aid instructor taught me to do when someone is having a seizure, and all I could recall was not to restrict her head.
I told someone to get the flight attendant and call 911. Then I put her seat back, supported her body, and gently held her so she would not fall out.
I really thought she might die.
After a minute or two, a nurse who happened to be on the flight made it to the back of the plane and helped all of us who looked like deer in headlights. We eventually reached her mom through the emergency contact on her phone, and after about twenty minutes of sitting with her and after people got off the plane, EMS arrived. At that point I became more of a nuisance than help, so we stepped aside.
As I walked off the plane, I could not stop thinking about how terrifying it must have been for her mom to know something was happening to her daughter while being stuck on the other side of security. My heart ached, imagining if one day my little boy were in a situation where he felt all alone, and what that would feel like if no one stepped in.
Even though the girl was going to be completely okay, I just kept thinking about how fragile life is and how I hope my child never goes too long without knowing how much I love him. I am sure I will drop the ball on this sometimes, but I will work to do my best.
I’ve seen many clients from some of the best homes I could imagine, and even still I know those kids, both the 13 year olds and the 23 year olds, would be grateful to receive a meaningful text from their parents that helps them feel seen.
So here is my encouragement for you:
For each kid in your family, pick one area you know they may be struggling with, big or small. Then take thirty seconds right now to send them a text acknowledging that part of their life and asking, “What is one thing I could do to help support you with ______?”
Here is an example you can copy, paste, and personalize:
“I was just thinking about how special you are and how much I adore you. I know that sometimes things can feel like a lot. I’m proud of the effort you’ve been putting in, and I wanted to see what I can do to help support you with (fill in the blank)?”
It might seem overly simple. But you never know what it could mean to your kid.
When my wife was reviewing this email, she said, “If either of my parents ever sent a text like that when I was a kid, I think I would have immediately started crying.”
Granted, she was a precious and tender girl. If I got it, I probably would have either ignored it or responded with, “Okayyyy mom love you.” But being seen in that moment, I know, would have been a blessing.
It is a gift to have someone show up in an emergency. It is healing when someone shows up for the everyday moments.
If you would like more examples of what to text your kids to help nurture your relationship, respond with “I’m here for the little things.”
