Big Smile, Arms Open Wide

Dear Friend,

Kerry here 😊

Happy Mother's Day!

When I walk into my mom's room, her face lights up with so much joy that she starts to cry. Every time. As we talk, fact and fiction are interwoven. Alzheimer's has quietly erased so much. But one thing she still knows is that I am one of her favorite humans ever. That might be the only thing she has left to give as a mom, but she gives it freely.

Isn't that the key ingredient to connecting with your kids? That our kids know, deep in their bones, that they are one of our favorite people on the planet?

In a child's early years, we caregivers are essential to their survival... our loving, attentive gaze literally shapes their development. Through the years, some kids stretch us in ways we never saw coming. We do our best. And still, we all fall short in some way or another. None of us is perfect. Not one.

So on Mother's Day, I'm not sure that many of us get the luxury to sit back and revel in satisfaction with ourselves as mothers. Some of us may feel cherished today; some may not.

Regardless, here's what we can do: honor the value of our love. Acknowledge how much we've poured into loving our kids, especially considering everything we're navigating ourselves.

There's a therapist I follow who talks about lighting up like a golden retriever when we see our kids. Seeing the best in them. Delighting in them. Showing them that they're our favorite people on the planet. What if that is the most important thing we do for their emotional wellbeing?

You, perfectly imperfect, are a gift to your child. I believe that you, just the way you are, are precisely the mother your child was meant to have. No mistakes.

If that's true, can you give yourself the grace to set down any self-judgment you carry today? Can you, for Mother's Day, feel the love you have for your child and call it good enough?

My mom can't mother me anymore. I doubt I'll have her much longer. She wasn't perfect as a mom, but seeing her face light up with love for me still goes straight to my heart.

We don't know how long our kids will have us. But we can love them with a big smile, arms open wide. That kind of consistent, felt connection will stick with them always.

Happy Mother's Day, sweet mama. Your child is lucky to have the gift of your love.

With love on this special day,
Kerry and Palmer